Do you ever notice (well, maybe it doesn't work this way for you but it does for me) how things go on really really great for a while, then they get really really hard (like unmanageably am-I-going-crazy? hard), then they are hey presto! really really great again. It can get a little confusing. I personally would opt for a less emotional way through, but I don't seem to have that setting. The great-again part comes as if by chance ~ yesterday at the library I left in a blue funk, and glancing aside as I walked outdoors, I saw a perfectly round bird's nest perched on the drainspout. It was enough. I was in love with life again when I saw that.
I've been trying to notice lately what are positive triggers for me ~ what things I can usually count on to uplift and invigorate, and trying to form conscious habits around those things so as to be influenced positively by them. Going for a brisk walk ~ writing a letter to a friend ~ drinking an extra glass of water.
As I planted rosemary and lavender today I noticed the confetti california poppies sprouting ~ the seeds were sent me by a friend, and I'm so glad to see them growing in my secret garden. Tim and I also took a rainy-day-drive today to a spot we know with a giant bamboo grove. I embroidered while he drove ~ my newest favorite thing to do in the car (besides talk.) Walking into the grove, there were deep leaves hushling underfoot and 30 feet of green segmented bamboo rising out of sight above ~ It felt like we were in another country. We have the owner's permission to harvest as much as we want for our garden. Their peacock was there displaying his tail to no-one and everyone in particular as we piled my station wagon high with lengths of bamboo for garden trellises, stakes and supports. Things are getting underway in our backyard and I look forward to some afternoons of building.
We ate saffron & marsala chicken tonight in front of a jazz-infused fire, shredding piles of cheese onto steaming mashed potatoes in their yellow bowl. Lucy winked at me as she sometimes does without realizing it. Good things are happening today, and I see cheerful things in my future.