How does one have a lovely tidy house (vacuum, laundry, dust, paint, arrange), a beautiful garden with plenty of vegetables (plant, weed, cook, compost, can, freeze), happy pets (feed, play, wash, walk daily), keep fit (greens, home-cooking, walk, yoga, meditation), have a healthy marriage (time together, time apart, good communication), keep up with friends and family (phone, letter, visit, dinner), do some traveling (fly or drive, price of gas, pets or no pets), and produce fine and mighty work in the studio (be inspired, create: sew, write, paint, polaroids, draw, collage, build; edit, preserve, frame, photograph, email, resume, show, sell, mail, packaging, paperwork, taxes)?
And do it all to the best of how I know I could be doing it? Am I doing to much, and really, how does one stop when everything seems equally important?
A good life is a lot of work. There's simply so much to do. And not enough time. I feel like I'm always a step or two behind where I want to be. Going, going. Unsatisified about what I've accomplished, and yet not on top of what is to come. Often in a muddle (as Miss Honeychurch would say.)
I think I need the fresh air of some outside thoughts ~ how do you find or pursue balance in your life?
xo brooke
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17 comments:
I'm having the same issue myself lately. I feel like I'm living in the midst of chaos and have to figure out what to make of it. When you find the answer, let me know! :)
That is SO the question....how can one do all it takes to live a good, ethical, loving, giving, happy life?? I think for me whatever I'm able to do with complete presence is what is important that day, or that instant. Doing anything (dishes, diapers, cooking, talking with a friend) with complete presence is how I can do my best. But to actually remember to stay in the present moment is the biggest challenge of all sometimes.
xo
cortnie
that photo of your kitty with the flowers is amazing.
and i don't know how to balance any of it...definitely muddling my way through and trying to appreciate it all. some days i succeed and lately not so much.
i guess just trying every day to do what i can, with love and intention has to be enough.
xo
i think that, most of the time, all the pressure is in our own head. and i think all we really need to slow things down is a change of scenery. walking is good, i do that a lot too. but tiny sacrifices are also good--for me, there's always something that i don't HAVE TO DO right that second, if i choose to stop driving myself crazy about it.
it's a mystery, isn't it? i'm still trying to figure it out... my mind is often times a cluttered mess. :) try not to stress about it too much and just be happy with what you CAN do.
Realizing that I can't do it all was a hard lesson. Homeschooling my kids was a great ego equalizer because all of a sudden my personal choices of what I could do shrunk to nearly nothing. Meaning, I did not have the luxury of picking and choosing how I spent all my time. It's just like any job, but I can't leave the office at 5. I've learned a lot in 2 years. Now, most things are on a revolving door called "the next important thing", and that changes everyday based on needs. My mom told me that my 30's will be the busiest time of my life, and that things will feel better--more authentic at 40. I turned 40 this year and though things haven't slowed down, I am making more honest choices about what I know to be important vs. what I thought was important. Exercise, sleep & healthy eating, taking time for me & my passions are what I know to be important. They re-fill me up to have energy for the next thing, so they are musts. Having a perfectly neat home? eh not so much. Cooking perfectly planned meals? eh sometimes. Having a flourishing mega garden? naah a few manageable containers will do for now.
Balance, whether we feel it or not, is always there to remind us to find center. How intuned we are makes all the difference. Sometimes it feels like chaos, and sometimes it feels just right. Yin and yang-- two sides of the same coin, where one doesn't exist without the other. This perspective keeps me sane, knowing that everything has its season, and things will keep changing and taking their turn :). Crap, I wrote a book... Sorry.
much love to you Brooke as you find center, it's there :)...
xo
That is indeed the question...
I constantly mutter to myself 'one thing at a time', over and over again. I think it's kind of what cortnie said - be present with what you're doing right now. I can't cook *and* worry about the hoovering at the same time, so I do one, and then the other (or not).
My housecleaning standards are low. Very low.
I wonder whether it's about seasons too - sometimes I focus on the house, and the garden gets to looking like the wilderness. Then I'll focus on the garden for a few weeks, and crafty stuff gets neglected. Then I'll spend a few weeks knitting and ignoring the dust. It all kind of works out.
I often ask myself what the thing that's most bothering me right now is, and then do something about it. Sometimes it's the fact that I've eaten nothing but toast all day, so I drop everything and cook. Sometimes it's the state of the kitchen floor. Sometimes it's some fabric that *needs* to be made into something *right now*
Not sure that's an answer! And also, I don't have pets, and I work full time (although some of that is working from home) so things are a little different here. Similar questions though. Good luck!
Jenni x
What a great question, and I'm so enjoying reading the comments. I feel the same way quite often, buried under to-do lists and never feeling "caught up" (whatever that looks like). The danger then is that everything just becomes another thing on the list to cross off, not enjoy. There's a fine line between being organized and productive and feeling overwhelmed and boxed in. And everyone's line is in a different place. I try to remind myself of that, not to compare, I mean. Because I know it's easy for me to do. My life, my line, is going to look different than anyone else's. Hope that helps.
oh man, same thing happening over here lately. as i type this, there is laundry strewn all over the floor and a million unfinished art pieces. I suppose i just try to figure out which errand will 'expire' first- aka, needs doing first. But that isnt much help, is it? Tag teaming is always good...when I get too stressed with too many things on my plate (in terms of chores) I tag in the hubs and he helps out quite a bit with the household 'to dos'. Hope everything sorts itself out :)
I love the beach glass photo by the way.
oh yes, I know what you mean. I feel the same very often! Especially in my home. It is never how I like it to have. Always feels unfinished... and my social life is small, because I always need so much time to reflect. I feel more and more that I would need less and less to construct a content feeling. In times of interent and emails, I sometimes wish back the time of slow contact like letter writing...
A mantra I repeat to myself oftenoftenoften is "Progress, not perfection." I will never achieve everything I want (singing in front of 10,000 people, experiencing weightlessness in space, discovering a new species, etc.), and do I really want to? I'd rather have the room to dream.
Truthfully, this balancing act is a constant struggle. Today started out so well. I was bright-eyed and up before sunrise, but now it is only 4pm and I'm pooped, with so much more I'd like to accomplish. I did walk and grocery shop and pickle Delicata squash and make chili and read and make some photographs...but I still haven't written (top priority) or unpacked after returning home yesterday evening, and now the kitchen is a bit of a mess. Oh well, on we go.
that is the question. one day it is a list. and another it is fighting to push past the list to be in the moment and pour all of myself into ONE thing. my life never feels like balance. i see balance as the forgiveness i give myself to recognize the cycles or the need to do both.
I have a hard time finding balance. My job wears me out so much I don't get a lot of free time. I wish I had more time for photography and yoga. Someday.
I really like the look of your home. So natural and calming.
Mimi looks like she has balance. Always find time to enjoy the flowers! In my next life I want to be a cat :)
xo
dear anita, cortnie, kristen, brit, barbara, mj, jennie, heather, keia, claudia, nichole, denise, jojo and laney ~ so much of what you all have written could have come directly out of my own thoughts. It seems like we all struggle with this: wanting to enjoy our joys and hold up under our pressures and overall strive for a rich and satisfying experience. I know happiness takes work, and that there is no one way to do it, no one way that works for everybody, and even that what may work today might not help next week. But it is there, sometimes elusive but always around the corner, and when it comes, I want to be in good practice to soak it up.
It's encouraging to know that so many other admirable people are on the same twisty, windy, sometimes-muddled, fraught with interesting turn-of-events path.
much appreciation, xo brooke
Dear Brooke, thank you for your nice words on my last post. I´m totally with you when it comes to the issue you wrote about here. For me doing Yoga helps me a lot to accept that I´m having my very own rhythm and that sometimes taking a deep breathe and focussing on the moment really helps!
Best wishes to you; Julia
Brooke, I just read this post aloud to my BC, as this was a conversation we had [truly, nearly verbatim] about two weeks ago.
I have no answers, but I just want you to know that you are in such company on this pursuit, this striving for the beauty in life, the passion of that which you love (and love to do), the joy in living in fullness and roundness. I'm right there too. Thank you for writing this.
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