Saturday, October 29

the impossible, the impractical: my all

Thank you for your comments on the last post. I knew, of course, that I wasn't alone and your words made me both sigh and laugh. (Are we all crazy for trying so hard?) I've tried for a few days to write a post in response and the complexities of my thoughts have been canceling each other out.

I've been re-reading Plant dreaming deep by may sarton (poet), and Daybook by anne truitt (sculptor), intrigued with how they each constructed their days to be productive, work with energy's ebb and flow, and find the inspiration and wherewithal to follow their creative callings.

There are so many options in life ~ so many details to clear up, and I experience the feeling that I can and should be able to do that (since I'm aware of them), to the point where I get muddled because a part of me is saying enough and I'm not listening to it. It comes down to wanting to get it all done, feeling satisfied about it, and then being able to rest with a peaceful feeling.

Looking over it now, I see that's not possible or practical. All is one of those very demanding words: causes stress, anxiety, perfectionism. Not really where I want to be.


xo brooke


Wednesday, October 26

well, that's the question, isn't it

I keep checking on the caterpillars.

How does one have a lovely tidy house (vacuum, laundry, dust, paint, arrange), a beautiful garden with plenty of vegetables (plant, weed, cook, compost, can, freeze), happy pets (feed, play, wash, walk daily), keep fit (greens, home-cooking, walk, yoga, meditation), have a healthy marriage (time together, time apart, good communication), keep up with friends and family (phone, letter, visit, dinner), do some traveling (fly or drive, price of gas, pets or no pets), and produce fine and mighty work in the studio (be inspired, create: sew, write, paint, polaroids, draw, collage, build; edit, preserve, frame, photograph, email, resume, show, sell, mail, packaging, paperwork, taxes)?

the new french press, tea only in this one please


And do it all to the best of how I know I could be doing it? Am I doing to much, and really, how does one stop when everything seems equally important?

holga, kodak gold 200 film

sea glass strands

A good life is a lot of work. There's simply so much to do. And not enough time. I feel like I'm always a step or two behind where I want to be. Going, going. Unsatisified about what I've accomplished, and yet not on top of what is to come. Often in a muddle (as Miss Honeychurch would say.)


I think I need the fresh air of some outside thoughts ~ how do you find or pursue balance in your life?

xo brooke


Sunday, October 23

it would take a book to explain, but

Taking photos is one thing that always makes me really, really happy. And a little nervous, a little curious. It's a good mix.

It's a way to speak without language, to tap into all that other stuff that is life without words.

There is so much in that place.


Saturday, October 22

morning hike with invisible bears

california, on highway 1

sx-70 polaroid land camera, polaroid 600 expired film

The sun on the sea, and jen pulling the car over so that I could climb a hill to take a polaroid far enough above the ocean for it to fill the frame. We had just come from camping ~ the morning before I had gotten up and walked in the rain, passing a sign that said a mother bear with cubs had been spotted nearby in july. My glasses kept fogging up and I finally turned back from climbing higher, just in case. Little birds flew through the wild anise studded with raindrops. When I turned back I saw the sea beneath me, shining in the cup of the mountains.

this and following: canon, 50mm lens, kodak gold 200 film



*taken by jen

Thursday, October 20

house-hunting and hawks

hawk mountain

hawk mountain

photo by tim

We went for a little hike today. Fall has hit us hard and for the 1.5 hour ride the car windows were filled with foliage. The sharp-shinned hawks were catching the light over the mountain and we sat for a short while just enjoying the sight. Then we had a home to see.

House-hunting is interesting. Upon arrival I get an immediate feel for the place that I sometimes wish was transferable through the online photos. Sometimes the owners are there and communication is a little weird ~ they are leaving, for various reasons, and we are strangers entering and inspecting their private home. Some houses are filled with sorrow and sadness, and others with delightful nooks and whimsy. There is always a story.

I'm waiting to recognize the one we fit into.

xo brooke


Tuesday, October 18

the selkie





*canon, kodak gold 200 film

Monday, October 17

her house

jen's kitchen

jen's tea drawer

beet smoothie of a morning

rave presiding over tea

...was amazing. I love visiting friend's houses and seeing how their day-to-day is. There were hummingbirds buzzing through the backyard ~ hefty ones, not like the east coast's ruby throated miniatures. My room was a little bright back one by the garden under a roof overgrown with trumpetvine ~ over which I could hear the neighbor's cat quietly picking her way each night. Bougainvillea, roses and succulents lined the neighbors' yards, and the salt of the sea wafted all the way up the street, where we could watch a portion of the sun on the waves from her front porch. We walked down the beach to Santa Monica Pier and went on the ferris wheel, and at the top, I could imagine the coast as it would have been a thousand years ago, fierce waves and wind blurring the sunset into the mountains.

It was a home to come home to.


Saturday, October 15

Friday, October 14

a perfect polaroid

kristen, california


Thursday, October 13

you're invited

(clearer picture if you click on it)

I have a solo show coming up!
opening reception 5 - 8pm, friday october 21
show runs from oct 21 - nov 23, 2011

just dropped off the works today
(in the rain)
everyone's welcome
if you can make it!


Wednesday, October 12

birthday camping

birthday camping

Thank you for all the birthday wishes! They were appreciated, for it was a full moon and I tend to find full moon days kind of intense with emotion and rather moody. (I'm noticing a trend in retrospect.) I'm a little relieved it's over, though I am happy to be 34 and fortunately, we celebrate a birthday week around these parts, so the good times have just begun.

We tried out a new campground yesterday, building a big fire and zipping the tired dogs into the tent, at their request, long before we zipped ourselves. We slept late to the sound of raindrops and hiked through woods with trunks floating in yellow foliage, meandering along the blue-blazed trail. Near the end, we boiled water for hot drinks over the Coleman stove and were surprised by a huge dragon of starlings overhead which filled what sky we could see.


Tuesday, October 11

practically a full moon birthday

jen drinking tea on her front porch, in view of the sea

Mimi is seated between my knees and I can feel the purr in her throat. The past few days have been full but good. I have details to finish up for my solo show on the 21st (little details that don't take my whole brain, so I'm also half-watching the british cooking show/comedy Two Fat Ladies), I decided to repaint the bathroom (white), and today a fit of thrifting took me and I spent all afternoon gathering treasures from some of my favorite spots, unvisited for weeks.

Since I seem all full of action and not so many words, I wanted to share the beautiful writings that Jen and Kristen have shared about our californian adventures. (and Kristen made a video short of me playing with the campfire which I keep watching.)

I turn 34 today, at 2:20pm. If anyone is up for a happy postcard! from me this week, send your address to me at flypeterfly AT hotmail DOT com.

Tim and the dogs and I are going birthday camping just for tonight ~

xo brooke