Yesterday, while sitting in the car outside of a retail store, nursing in its parking lot, a monarch butterfly sang and danced its way across the asphalt in front of me. It was a lovely moment, cuddling my boy who had just been breaking my heart crying fit to burst minutes earlier in his carseat (hence the pulling over), the a/c blowing the car into coolness, some music quietly playing, Things I want my daughters to know in hand (always in the glovebox these days), and the monarch, a piece of orange strength in the sun, possibly starting the long migration journey on nothing but the tenuous fibers of its little wings and the tricks of the breezes.
Perhaps you have experienced something like it.
I think just about every day I have a little time where I feel like I may go mad and I just can't hack it and then the next thing I know, it has passed and I'm on top of things again feeling like the luckiest mom ever and I can't wait to hold Cedar like I'll never let him go.
After a while when he fell asleep against me, soothed into one body with mine, heavy and warm as a sun-ripened peach, I put him into the Moby wrap and we went inside to shop for a few essentials. A golden yellow tank, a sea-blue teal scarf to wrap around me at the onset of the winter to come (to walk in the forest in the snow), a pair of coral pink corduroys to greet autumn in. Have you ever tried on pants in a changing room while wearing your baby on your front? Interesting.
We came home to find Tim newly awakened from his sleep after the night shift and he took the babe for a woodsy stroll while I pulled together a peach crisp, sweet with peaches from a local orchard (that my mom picked) and which turned into a bubbling crumble of late summer perfection. I had three helpings. We also managed to rustle up a little lemoney chicken dinner to the tunes of Bob Marley and ate at dusk by the light of a single fat candle before I headed up to bed with Cedar. Another day accomplished.
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Peach Crumble
Peel and chop 7 or 8 ripe peaches and place into an oven-safe pan. I use a thrifted French earthenware one with a blue stripe since it makes such a nice presentation. In a medium bowl, mix together 2 cups flour (I did 1 cup whole wheat, 1 cup teff flour), 1 cup sweeteners (brown sugar, agave nectar, honey, etc...), 1/2 tsp. coarse salt, dashes of nutmeg and cinnamon to taste (I like a lot), 1 cup rolled oats. Chop in 3/4 cup butter or butter substitute until everything is in smallish pieces. Spread over peaches and press even with your fingertips. Cook for 40 minutes at 375*F. Serve warm.
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5 comments:
Sweet! :)
reading your words about little cedar pulls my 'mad' moments together. since they are less than a month apart and i am nursing my new little one again (i nursed e until he was 1), these moments of having to pull over~they compare very much to mine. :) its so hard knowing that all they want to do is nurse and pulling over in a parking lot adjusting the boppy...lol it all seems so frusterating at the time. but you reminded me how its truly a beautiful moment. one that will be gone too quickly. e is almost 3 yrs old in a couple of months. it breaks my heart to see him growing up so fast, but at the same time so so proud. the other day he said, mama, i want to grow up so i can play baseball. :( another thing i want to tell you, out of all of the blogs i read...yours is my most favorite of all. thank you for sharing your world with us. some days are better and i am more thankful for crazy moments, just because you reminded me to be.
lots of love,
hailey
ps i dont know if this is weird to put in a comment, but my sister told me a way to nurse that i love. (you may already know)! i lay down on my side, and lay finley the same way facing me. she latches on the breast laying on the bed. its her favorite way to eat and she always seems to eat better this way. it also is perfect for the night! its very comfortable for both mama and baby. :)
Oh sweetheart your words are just beautiful and your photos are too precious!
your baby is delicious, and the peach crumble sounds so too. :)
There is something so magical to me about Monarch butterflies. Whenever I see one flitting across the grass, I smile and clap my hands (sometimes only in my mind). They feel a little like something beautiful from a dream that showed up in my waking life, as do those iridescent blue dragonflies.
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