Yesterday, while sitting in the car outside of a retail store, nursing in its parking lot, a monarch butterfly sang and danced its way across the asphalt in front of me. It was a lovely moment, cuddling my boy who had just been breaking my heart crying fit to burst minutes earlier in his carseat (hence the pulling over), the a/c blowing the car into coolness, some music quietly playing, Things I want my daughters to know in hand (always in the glovebox these days), and the monarch, a piece of orange strength in the sun, possibly starting the long migration journey on nothing but the tenuous fibers of its little wings and the tricks of the breezes.
Perhaps you have experienced something like it.
I think just about every day I have a little time where I feel like I may go mad and I just can't hack it and then the next thing I know, it has passed and I'm on top of things again feeling like the luckiest mom ever and I can't wait to hold Cedar like I'll never let him go.
After a while when he fell asleep against me, soothed into one body with mine, heavy and warm as a sun-ripened peach, I put him into the Moby wrap and we went inside to shop for a few essentials. A golden yellow tank, a sea-blue teal scarf to wrap around me at the onset of the winter to come (to walk in the forest in the snow), a pair of coral pink corduroys to greet autumn in. Have you ever tried on pants in a changing room while wearing your baby on your front? Interesting.
We came home to find Tim newly awakened from his sleep after the night shift and he took the babe for a woodsy stroll while I pulled together a peach crisp, sweet with peaches from a local orchard (that my mom picked) and which turned into a bubbling crumble of late summer perfection. I had three helpings. We also managed to rustle up a little lemoney chicken dinner to the tunes of Bob Marley and ate at dusk by the light of a single fat candle before I headed up to bed with Cedar. Another day accomplished.
Peel and chop 7 or 8 ripe peaches and place into an oven-safe pan. I use a thrifted French earthenware one with a blue stripe since it makes such a nice presentation. In a medium bowl, mix together 2 cups flour (I did 1 cup whole wheat, 1 cup teff flour), 1 cup sweeteners (brown sugar, agave nectar, honey, etc...), 1/2 tsp. coarse salt, dashes of nutmeg and cinnamon to taste (I like a lot), 1 cup rolled oats. Chop in 3/4 cup butter or butter substitute until everything is in smallish pieces. Spread over peaches and press even with your fingertips. Cook for 40 minutes at 375*F. Serve warm.