Sunday, September 30

must dash


35mm film, canon camera

I wish I had more time to write comprehensively here, about what having a little baby is like. Really like. It's like so many things. Like a full bookshelf with not much moving room but lots of stories.

Life has been busy in a good way. The blues are gone and the anxiety of being at times all day alone with a baby has abated. When he reached three months three things happened: he found his hands, he found his voice, and we found he could entertain himself for longer periods of time.

My mom has been coming up many days and offering her skills in the garden and house. Cardinal flower, scabiosa, creeping jenny, lariope were planted. I found a few pots of verbena and put them in the ground to reseed. The room off the kitchen is getting painted sunbeam yellow.

I've been trying to be more mindful. Because it's so easy to rush. To feel like one isn't getting ahead, or even keeping abreast. What are the daily decisions that keep us happy? That keep us remembering the whole picture? Soaking it all in, soaking in the details even as they can overwhelm. Focusing on what needs to be done and forging ahead when some days I just want to curl up in bed and nap.

Keeping a sense of humor. Noticing the little pleasures: the color of the beets in the smoothie, the goldfinches swooping on the echinacea, the line in the book that catches my heart. The mistletoe cactus that hung on the porch on summer and which the insects pollinated into fruiting. The woods path, finally cleared over days of quick trims while holding Cedar. The shocking red geranium still blooming strong. The frozen peaches from last month found forgotten in the freezer. The barn sale down the street I was able to get to. A postcard from a friend.

Must dash.

xo Brooke