So I'm playing movies in the kitchen while I do laundry, taking breaks to scatter red oriental poppy seeds and coax the dogs outside with stale biscuits. I've been in kind of a crummy mood lately ~ it's hard (for both of us) when tim works his three 12-hour shifts in a row. I'm so pregnant, feeling so vulnerable and needing to talk. We fit in a little chat at the round table outside the kitchen door this morning, in between rain showers, and I feel so much better. In the midst of a bad mood, it seems hard to think it will shift, and in the midst of a good one, it's hard to believe it won't be like that always!
Awoke at 5am today, as I seem to keep doing. I stayed awake with the cat curled against my knee, listening to the birds wake up and watching fog roll in over the trees in the front yard. Another full day today, and it's going to be good.
I got my local library card this week, and don't feel so strange anymore as I have been feeling without a stack of books and audiobooks to peruse at home. I always wondered what it would be like to just stop reading for a week or two, to see what came up. It's not something I want to try again anytime soon.
Looking back at some of the images I took this past week ~ a busy week, after which now suddenly my insomnia is gone and the rain has come to settle all the plants in and to make all papery things inside the house slightly wrinkly.
I'm not really big on crowds, even if I know everyone in them, and often at get-togethers I'm most comfortable finding one or two people and having a decent chat with them about things that matter. This polaroid was taken after the bonfire got started up and people were well-seated for the next few hours under the stars with glasses of beer and jumbo marshmallows on sticks. A friend and I found ourselves inside in the quiet and settled down on my newly thrifted purple couch for a good catch-up, with the moths flying overhead since we haven't installed any screen doors yet.
Now that we have the counter space, he set up the cappuccino maker after at least a year of it being in storage. It's taken him a couple of weeks to tackle the cleaning of it and make sure all the vents work but he finally did it and made himself a beautifully frothed drink this morning. He is a happy man.
One of the fun things about expecting a baby is, you might have guessed, the fun little things I make for him.
Another delight is the special things friends make. In this morning's mailbox I found a brown paper package with amazing little presents inside, including the softest hand-knitted sweater for 'banjo,' due in about a month. How incredibly special it was to open this and see all the tiny stitches!
The baby shower went wonderfully, was very low-key, and mainly happened outdoors. Many mixings of our family members occurred, which hasn't happened since the wedding. House tours were given, dogs wandered freely, and people explored all the nooks and crannies of home and grounds on their own as well. My mom and my friend somer did most of the work, which was such an appreciated gift to me. (Som painted the old hutch I found with two coats of white, and it was moved into the kitchen and filled with my pyrex collection mere hours before guests arrived. I'm enamoured with it.)
It was a very, very good time, with all the parts of our new home filling with conversation and good energy. (And chalkboard wall drawings done by the little ones.)
The weather was perfect, and some of tim's family slept over, in tents and on tarps under last night's beautiful sky. We all went to bed late, full on talk, love and life. In the morning they wandered back inside and we ate veggie frittata, toast and lots of bacon. Leisurely cups of hot fresh-ground coffee and pulpy orange juice.
I hope your weekend was filled with such good things as well!
Sometimes life is so going, it's hard to even be in the moment that is actually happening. The flow is so fast, I feel like I have to put on a veneer just to make it through the day. Some days are easier, softer, than others, and I revel in those. Some days are full and exciting and productive. Others just pull at me and feel awful. It's hard to expand into the second that is happening, in the midst of so much that is life, and which will never stop being life. To fully realize events that just occurred, gain satisfaction from them, learn from them, process them, and at the same time prepare for what comes next.
It's a lot, this living.
Baby banj seems to have a fascination both with poking my bladder and with running his large and strong feet all over the inside of my right side, while trying to kick my rib out of his way.
The midwife mentioned that in 3 weeks, when I'll be 37 weeks, it would be fine if he decided to arrive. Not that I think he will, but it was a little startling to think that he could. That he even might. Or he might wait another 6 weeks.
There is a fantastic little ice cream place right down the street (and through the woods) which makes all their ice creams by hand with mostly local ingredients. Flavors like chocolate raspberry, mango habenero, tahitian vanilla, blueberry lemon. I go once or twice a week and order a kiddie cone. But I don't think they are giving me a kiddie size.
Ever since the neighbor told me about the bear, my evenings spent at the kitchen table have taken on a fresher flavor as I gaze out the black windows into the black backyard, and wonder if one of these times a black bear will be looking back at me. It's a different feel than our last house.
The hummingbirds here are really cute. Kind of like flying brooches.
There has been so much to do at the other house (which we are renting) that both tim and I are dying for a full, lazy day here, to finish up all those delicious little effects that make things tidy and special. Tomorrow is that day.
Yesterday was waking up and seeing the red sunrise against the trees as I lay there for hours, not sleeping and not wishing I could sleep, but just happily resting and then falling into a nap again till 9. It was visiting the local shops and figuring out which ones I would buy my milk, eggs and cheese at and which ones had the best local fruits, and how all the prices differed. I shop now with a cooler in the car for perishables since I get sidetracked on little roads, discovering flower shops with columbine and cherry tomatoes, and waterfalls and garage sale signs. I think I may have found the hutch we need for the kitchen (at the place that sells glass bottles of milk) ~ it's old and wooden with glass doors and would look perfect with my Pyrex bowls in it.
Yesterday was a long nap right in the middle of the day, with sunlight coming glowing through the four windows in the bedroom, right after I set two homeade loaves of bread to rise and four quiche crusts to chill in the fridge. It was a little drowsy reading and a little listening to the woodpecker and then when I got up I finished the quiches and made a dozen and a half banana blueberry muffins. A short walk with a huge red hot-air balloon swooshing by low overhead. A tidying up of garden tools and another water for all the transplants ~ oregano, echinacea, lady's mantle, coral bells, marjoram, lemon thyme, shasta daisies, yellow iris.
So much got done yesterday. I am so tired, as I've been the past few days. So much more to do as I get my transfered garden plants safely in the ground and watered, and the garden beds are built by my mom while I finish up a hundred little things inside. Still getting used to the tempo of this house. Writing lists of things we need as we go ~ planning for a mother's day picnic here, and for a baby shower here in a week. It is good, as long as I go slow.
I love our mailbox with its little red flag, like the one I grew up with, telling us the mail is here. Receiving mail at our new address feels like such a luxury.
We met one of our nice neighbors, who told us about the resident bear. 'Bring the suet inside at night,' he said.
I still see salamanders everywhere.
We are gleaning rocks from the woods to edge the flowerbeds.
Four-leaf clovers keep catching my eye.
I lined the kitchen drawers in vintage linen today.
And planted nasturtium seeds in the whisky barrel on the porch.