Sunday, December 30

winding down

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Our woods.
I love them.


the studio door
The studio door.


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Moments caught while Cedar naps.



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 Five inches fell.


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Her new favorite spot ~ in the windowsill of the guest room.


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Complete and utter bonkersnow.


somer & cedar
Napping on Auntie Somer.


Indigo, the camera hog.
Indigo, the camera hog.


How is your weekend looking? Plenty of snow here and we're all here together enjoying it. I'm looking forward to a quiet New Year's Eve ~ my favorite one to date was spent playing Scrabble with family and denting the ceiling when we popped the champagne cork. I generally keep things low key and will probably turn in early with Cedar (Tim works) and cozy up in the flannel sheets after a warm bath for a good snooze.


Do you have any special things you do to welcome the new year?




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Saturday, December 29

Thursday, December 27

6 months!!

Six months!!!
6 months


Halfway around the sun, my gorgeous little fellow.


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A few hours old



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Tuesday, December 25

Christmas Day

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(ice cream in the espresso)



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Twelve minutes in the car before Cedar falls asleep for a nap that will be way too short 
Eleven geese flying in formation overhead honking seemingly in my ear
Ten glorious minutes of hot shower this morning
Nine minutes parked by the side of the road watching Venus and the moon in the evening sky
Eight new board books handed down to us by Cedar's cousin 
Seven times the puppy has to go outside
Six loads of laundry
Five hawks spotted on the way to my aunt's house for Italian Wedding Soup
Four red cardinals amongst the bracken
Three quinoa blueberry pancakes for breakfast
Two cups of Mother's Milk tea
And one walk alone at dusk with two dogs



I hope there is peace in your home tonight.

xo Brooke


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Monday, December 24

Saturday, December 22

knowing the limits

little guy'll be 6 months on wednesday.



He's almost 6 months old. This coming wednesday, half a year ago, I birthed this little fella in our bedroom. It's been tough, tough! Raising a baby is the hardest thing I've ever done, and most of the time I'm staying just one step ahead. There are also lots of times when I'm not, but it always comes back around to things being all right ~ to getting help or relief at the last moment. And sometimes after the last moment.


I used to wonder what people meant when they talked about how hard it is. It is like something enveloping has seeped into my body and my mind and they are no longer mine. Life has gained a few layers so things overlap and the weave is a bit thicker and more complicated. I need both to kiss his soft neck like warm rising dough and hug his strong little body forever just as much as I need to cry sometimes because I'm FRIED but at that moment there is no one but me to watch him.


I've been thinking a lot about something. If I don't make room to rest and reinvigorate myself, if I don't know when to take a break ~ how will he learn to? How will he know when enough is enough if he's around someone often pushing herself far past her limits? How is he going to know to respect his needs if I don't respect mine. If I don't cherish myself.


It's so hard to do. It's so much easier to continue with the way things are. It's much more difficult to make changes, even for the better.




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Friday, December 21

Solstice

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Happy Solstice!


I have a Jewish Apple Cake (bought, not made) to take to playgroup, and then a quick drive back here to open gifts with Tim and Co. The holidays have begun.



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Thursday, December 20

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sx-70 camera, polaroid 600 expired film


From Tim's birthday party in November. Cedar's such a party animal.



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Saturday, December 15

The loose ends are so satisfying to tie up

Tree's up!


The tree's up ~ blue spruce, potted. High up to keep it safe from baby and puppy. And we were so on the ball for our gifts this year. Everything's all ready to go for our celebration on the Solstice. I love exchanging gifts that day, so bright and special with such ancient meaning ~ and the ice cream place still open ~ and time for a walk. And then no need for high expectations for Christmas, when travel stretches us thin. 


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Another room awaiting another coat of primer and then a coat of color. I'll finish this in the spring when warmer temp's allow open windows.


Guest room's painted


The guest room, finally painted and almost ready for occupants.


I so wish my camera had focused.


And, the owl I saw this afternoon on my way to our local Waldorf school's Festival with Cedar. I so wish my camera had focused properly.


These are the things I think about at night when I'm drifting off to sleep and they make me happy. How are things going for you these days?

xo Brooke




(I put a little peanut butter into the puppy's Kong for overnight. He's going nuts.)




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Thursday, December 13

balance

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He's sleeping through the night. I never ever thought I would say that. Knock on wood. Like 6:30pm to 7am with one wakeup to nurse and one or two others that he puts himself to sleep after. It's like a dream that I'm afraid I'll awake from. Speaking of dreams, I have been having really strange ones lately (well, ever since I got pregnant with him) and often wake up in the middle of the night relieved it was just, after all, a dream and not something really happening. I often dream I've lost Cedar, or forgotten him and then cannot find him. Strange. Did this happen for anyone else after they had a baby?


In my spare moments I've been making books on blurb.com. I'll show pics of them when they arrive. So far, I've done one for each of our last two year's visits to the cabin in Canada, and one for Cedar's birth story in pictures. It's very exciting! Having him around makes me work a little faster, a little less perfectly than usual, and I think it's healthy. I have to keep going, keep trying, keep stepping one step at a time and they all add up. His 30-minute naps give me time to get out into the studio and work on projects. A lot can get accomplished in that time if I hustle.


Tim and I are currently figuring out what to do for Christmas with a little guy who's not keen on strangers and has an early bedtime. I'm not too keen on big crowds myself. My ideal holiday is a snowy one with a peaceful, quiet day with a few close friends and nothing much going on but good talks, a fire, and an evening stroll. Nice and simple.


Sometimes before dinner I put Cedar in the backpack and go for a sunset stroll. After a while I feel his little head loll onto my back as he falls asleep.


This afternoon my parents watched him while Tim and I went out to lunch and walked by the river. We spotted an osprey and a kingfisher and reminisced about the time we rented a tandem bike in Belgium, for some reason. We came home to find out he had been bawling for the past hour and was still shaky sighing. It's tough, you know? The balance between his needs and ours.




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Wednesday, December 12

Tuesday, December 11

Monday, December 10

besties

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besties


If this kid gets any cuter I'm not going to be able to handle it.



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Saturday, December 8

teeth

teeth


Two, to be precise.




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Thursday, December 6

a wordless pause

This evening after a very good day.


Things have been busy and sometimes it's tough to think of what I want to say here. For a while I'm just going to post photos, which I sometimes don't do since I want to write something to go along with them. But for now, I just want to share images. I'll be back talking when I feel the flow. 

xo Brooke



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Wednesday, December 5