I would be lying if I said I didn't pant for the moment this little guy falls asleep. Sometimes it's such a circus getting him down. He changes up the routine for no reason I can discern. And all the time I'm waiting for my break yet trying to enjoy the moment, knowing he'll be even bigger soon.
When he finally falls asleep I just want to keep holding his little velvety body and smelling his hair. It smells like powdered sugar, sweat and sun-hot hay. So I do for a while. I hold him tight and try to make the moment last for the rest of our lives. But I need to put him down. There are things I need to do, to make, for me, just for a while. And so I let him go.