Thursday, January 31

the baby's asleep and the time is ours

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These are some recentish polaroids of Cedar (and friends). I am getting to the last few boxes of my polaroid 600 stash and need to stock up with some Impossible Project film soon. Polaroids are so exciting I can't stand to not have my camera filled and ready to go at all times.


This fall I went to a barn sale down the road and they had a mint condition polaroid camera ~ the kind that opens out like an accordion and uses peel-apart film. I didn't get it but I'm thinking of stopping by there and asking if they still have it. Perhaps this weekend.


The wind is blowing mightily as it has been doing all day. Tonight is my night "off" where Tim attends Cedar if he awakens and I meet dreamland in the spare room, in peace and quiet. Oh so neccessary for both of us to have that time off.


I just put Cedar to bed. His body knows it's 6:00 and he wants to go to bed, thank you very much! No more playing, singing or squeezing. I hop to it. Fresh flannel pants, a cotton top and warm little socks for his impossibly marshmallowish feet. Nursing in bed with lights out. Then a cotton blanket laid on him and he goes into his own bed. Downstairs the fire is roaring and the dogs are sleepy. Tim ran out to our local handmade ice creamery to bring home dessert.


He should be back anytime now.

xo Brooke




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Wednesday, January 30

evening, and the rain tucks us in

a boy and his dog



These two are crazy affectionate with each other. (It's tough to photograph them in polaroid. Cedar is always moving.)


This morning Tim and Cedar and I went to our favorite local breakfast place. It's filled with older couples and chatting pairs of girlfriends and outdoorsy men in plaid flannels and large family groups. I order what I always order: 1 pancake (maple syrup), eggs (scrambled), toast (rye), bacon. It's heavenly. Tim tries something new most times. We've been going there since May when we moved here; when I was still pregnant with Cedar. He's known to the owner and the waitress and always draws lots of attention from the locals. Today for the first time he sat in the wooden high chair they have, wedged secure with our fleece and wool jackets, and solemnly inspected the surrounding diners while chewing on my purse strap.


Tim and I could barely even talk. Cedar was such a little man. We just looked at him, so poised and imperturbable and beautiful, and it was enough.


We are wild about him.


I took him on a hike afterwards, just he and I. We walked along the woods trail into the game lands and after a while it began to rain. He seemed unfazed and babbled in his multisyllabic almost-words way from the carrier on my back. When we got home only daddy could get him to nap. The rain fell softly and swept away the fog, and we opened the house doors to let the balmy freshness in.




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Tuesday, January 29

The First Annual Family Freeze-out

moonshine



midnight bonfire



midnight bonfire



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fort-building never ever gets old



morning after breakfast



It turned out pretty great, even though it was so cold that someone's cup of tea left on the back porch that night froze solid in hours. The snow was so cold it sparkled like diamonds. Everyone slept inside.


Some of the things I like best about having guests over are the moments when I get away all to myself. It might be in the bathroom, the bedroom, the front porch. I listen to the murmurs or the laughter and feel a little like I'm in a hotel. Sometimes I even read for a bit. It's a different kind of being alone than when the house is empty.



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Monday, January 28

a little reminder

the reminder tattoo



I catch sight of my little tattoo every so often. And it is a good reminder.





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Sunday, January 27

my rustic incantation

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all the time in the world

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my rustic incantation

my rustic incantation

my rustic incantation
my rustic incantation



I've been really into making these little spaces lately, filled with words and a small chair. A place for a pause, for inner work, for rest.


The chair symbolizes stepping back, slowing down, and being thoughtful about what's next, or what's presently going on.


The poems are found word by word in old books because we can always find our story in the stories already told, which both keeps us all connected and allows our uniqueness.


When I use birds in my work I'm tapping into their ability in a moment to leave the earth and take to the sky, leaving heaviness and weight and darkness behind.


Beyond that, the story is up to you.


They can be found here.

xo Brooke



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Wednesday, January 23

Lately at home















Just some little moments that keep me going; keep me happy.




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Tuesday, January 22

we had an ice storm the other day

















I took the baby monitor out to our woods while Cedar was napping and just breathed the icy air and gazed at the crystal on all sides. There were sounds like snapping and falling glass, tiny tinklings, little crashes.


No matter how hard it can be sometimes to get outside, it is always worth it, no matter what the weather.



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Saturday, January 19

In the morning



Cedar wakes up about 7:45 and scoots around in his bed for a little while. The light in the bedroom becomes brighter if the sun's out and pretty soon I resign myself to getting up (this morning he got up at 5:45! Nooo!). We open the blinds, say good morning to the day and then nurse in the big bed.








He's usually in a pretty good mood after that. I change him and we get dressed in warm clothes.




We let the dogs out of the bedroom and go downstairs, checking on the weather through the front door while all the dogs go outside.




Turn on the pellet stove.




And wonder why the kitchen is always such a mess.




Make a cup of tea with honey, and have a bowl of oatmeal (instant and rolled oats, mixed nuts, flaxseed, soymilk, cinnamon and a banana.) Then I have a glass of green juice, a glass of eggnog, and sometimes a bowl of cereal. And sometimes a grapefruit. Nursing makes you very hungry.






Apply gold eyeliner. Just because.




Cedar careens around the kitchen meanwhile, wreaking havoc on anything he can reach.




Consider the grocery list. We might go today. Maybe.




The dogs eat only after I do, and their attention grows increasingly intense as they hear me rinse out the oatmeal bowl. After they eat they go out and we usually watch them play and sniff outdoors.




Cedar hangs in his different spots while I scoot around doing my various things of interest: putting a coat of primer on a shelf, looking up something in a book, reading or working on a piece of artwork, or doing something online.




Um, and then sometimes I have some peanut butter m&m's. And I put down my word in Scrabble. Tim and I play a game over a few days.




By now Cedar is tired of the floor and his toys, so he goes in the Ergo and we can do many things that way: take the compost out, vacuum, clean, brush the dogs, empty the dishwasher, check my email, package things for the shop or do things in the studio if it's not too cold.




There's usually always some laundry that could be done. But that's fine since I rather like doing it.




When I feel his head rest on my back briefly I know it's time for his nap, around 10 or 10:30. We go upstairs, put the blinds back down and he gets swaddled and put down for his nap. Hopefully I've hit the timing right so this goes smoothly and there isn't a huge fuss. Sometimes there is a huge fuss and that is pretty draining.




But he's so sweet when he falls asleep. I go downstairs with a burst of happiness in my heart as I contemplate 30 or 40 minutes to myself. Yup, that's all he naps.




I can do anything I want to. Which is stressful cause what if I pick the thing that isn't the really the thing that would be most fulfilling today? But I try anyways. Best is writing or just thinking and sitting there watching the fire.




And a little yoga or stretching. Every day.



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That's my morning; what's yours look like?

xo Brooke



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