This week has been so busy!! At one point I thought I was going to totally lose it. Wait, what am I saying ~ I did totally lose it. It can be so hard to stay on top of things. The kitchen is often a complete wreck. The bathroom sinks. I can't even go there. The toilets. The laundry. The yard work. The humidity. The crying baby hanging on my knees while I try to rustle up something to eat for myself other than cereal.
I do keep pretty high expectations. Even though I know it can be silly to think that just after I get things in order ~ that's when I'll relax. Then a week passes and I haven't relaxed. Tim relaxes. It makes me jealous.
I've been staying up late to garden, scattering seeds, weeding, pruning, building rock edgings and planting perennials. Discovering nooks and crannies and vistas. Watching the bats come out.
I crave that time after Cedar goes down and cram it with the neverending needs to create, to relax, to build, to sink into a few full hours where I forget I have the responsibility of a little one, and it's just me. It replenishes. Sometimes enough, sometimes not.
Sometimes I needed the sleep more but I can't bear to sleep away that time.
Every morning when I awake at 5am with Cedar boisterous and bouncing, I swear I'm going to take a week and go to bed early every night. Imagine having energy!
My day off a week is a lifesaver. Tim watches Cedar and I struggle to decide how much or how little I want to do. Work on those projects. Lay around and read. Watch a movie. Go for a walk. Bake. Sleep. Run errands. There's always too much for one day. I don't want to be running ragged all day and reach sunset with no breath left.
So I pick and choose. Try to take it slow. Try to enjoy what's in front of me.
And there's always a moment of quiet. Of cool evening breeze. Of a quick shower, or a camera picked up at a great moment, or a surprise for dinner. There's possibility, plans and appreciation.
I don't want to miss any of it.